Marvel’s What If Best Quotes Episodes 1-9

Marvel’s What If Best Quotes

Marvel’s “What If…?” flips the script on the MCU as we know it. One choice changes everything. The new series streaming on Disney+ is loaded with quotes from our favorite MCU characters and we’re sharing a collection of our favorite Marvel’s “What If…?” quotes.

S1 E1 What If… Captain Carter were the First Avenger? Best Quotes

We mere mortals only dream of such things. –Agent Carter

No, I prefer to stand. –Agent Carter

This is our only chance. –Agent Carter

I was promised an army. Instead, I get a girl. –Colonel Flynn

You have a super-soldier. –Agent Carter

We all have somebody fighting for us. –Agent Carter

I never was much of a dancer anyway. –Steve Rogers
Maybe you haven’t found the right partner. –Agent Carter

You’re out of your mind, Stark. –Colonel Flynn

This doesn’t concern you. You’re lucky to be in the room. –Colonel Flynn

I thought you Brits were supposed to be resilient. –Howard Stark
Your covert skills need work. –Agent Carter

That was brilliant! Let’s give it another go. –Agent Carter

The war’s out there Colonel, not in here. –Agent Carter

You’re an agent, you’re not even qualified. –Colonel Flynn

I owe you one. –Steve Rogers
You owe me more than that. You owe me a dance. –Agent Carter

Since when did dames fight like that? –Dum Dum Dugan
Since today. –Bucky Barnes
Steve Rogers sent me. The name’s Captain Carter. –Captain Carter

Wait, she’s friends with that HYDRA Stomper? –Dum Dum Dugan
I think I’m friends with him, too. –Bucky Barnes

I’ve always said that Peggy’s a real knockout. –Colonel Flynn

I’m still that skinny kid from Brooklyn. –Steve Rogers
You’re still my hero, Steve. You’re still A hero. –Captain Carter
You’re my hero, too. –Steve Rogers

You said the glowing ice cube could change the laws of physics. –Colonel Flynn
His name is Steve Rogers, not the HYDRA Stomper. –Captain Carter

Colonel, you’re lucky to even be in the room. –Captain Carter
Oh, come on Howard. We might need someone to push a button. –Captain Carter

This is crazy. –Dum Dum Dugan
So is Steve Rogers. –Bucky Barnes

Sir, that’s Captain Carter. –Clint Barton
Where’s Steve Rogers? –Captain Carter
The war ended almost 70 years ago. –Nick Fury

 

S1 E2 What If… T’Challa Became Star-Lord? Best Quotes

Now I almost feel bad. –T’Challa

That’s my boy! –Yondu

What you call destiny is just an equation. –The Watcher

You morons grabbed the wrong kid! –Yondu

Not so fast. Two see holes, two hear holes, one eat hole. Everything checks out. –Kraglin

Why stop at one world, huh? When we can show you all of them. –Yondu

I’m a big enough man to admit when I’m wrong. –Thanos

Pretty sure it’s still just genocide, big guy. –Kraglin
And I’m pretty sure it’s efficient. –Thanos

Hey, Cha-Cha. –Nebula

Do I have a job for you. –Nebula

When I went straight, Tivan saw an opening and filled the power vacuum. –Thanos

So should I mark you down as undecided? –Nebula

We are Ravagers. We do not back down from a fight. –T’Challa

Try calling me Captain Genocide again, new guy. –Thanos

And to think I’m old enough to remember when the Ravagers used to be fun. –Tivan

You are quite articulate for a Duck. –T’Challa

Are you crazy? Happy Hour just started! –Kraglin

You belong up here with us, your family. –Yondu

The Collector is ready for you. –

 

Where I come from, history has never looked kindly on those who lock men in cages. –T’Challa

Relax new guy. I’m here to rescue T’Challa. –Nebula

Are you crazy? –Nebula
Not crazy. Mad. –Thanos

Ain’t no way in hell I was gonna leave here without my kid. –Yondu

Where you want to be, that’s the question, isn’t it? –Yondu

 

 

S1 E3 What If… The World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes? Best Quotes

There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable to see if they could be more…

Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to exit the donut. –Nick Fury

Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. –Nick Fury

I may not have been a fan of Tony Stark, but I didn’t kill him. –Natasha Romanoff

Wow, so serious. Maybe we should get some tunes going. Lighten the mood. –Natasha Romanoff

 

What’s the plan? –Clint Barton
Same as always. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. –Nick Fury
I think worst just got here. –Clint Barton

First Stark, now Muscle Beach. –Agent Coulson

It’s weird, but I also have a space corpse who looks like a Chippendale’s dancer rotting on the next table over. –Nick Fury

Whatever it is, it came with bogeys of some kind. –Agent Coulson

 

You would do best to kneel before a god. –Loki

It’s better for everyone if I fend for myself. I sort of can’t die. –Bruce Banner
Then I guess you’re in luck. –Natasha Romanoff

Which is why I have to ask, what’s in the box? –Nick Fury

Declaring war on this planet will not bring your prince back. –Nick Fury

We are not allies. –Loki

She was my daughter! My little girl! –Hank Pym

You took everything from me. –Hank Pym

That’s what SHIELD has always done, find others to fight your battles. –Hank Pym

Uh, what’s with the goth kid? –Hank Pym

I was thinking I might extend my stay here on Midgard. –Loki

The Avengers fell before they had a chance to rise. –Agent Coulson

 

 

S1 E4 What If… Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands? Best Quotes

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences? –The Watcher

We protect reality. We don’t threaten it. –The Ancient One

I must owe someone a muffin basket for this personality shift. –Christine

Oh, no. I’m not getting grease on this dress, okay? –Christine

Why does this keep happening? Aren’t we allowed to be happy? –Dr. Strange

Enough living in the past for one evening. –Dr. Strange

Her death is an Absolute Point in Time. –The Ancient One

You cannot reverse an Absolute Point –The Ancient One

Stop torturing yourself, Stephen. Christine is gone. You can’t save her. –The Ancient One

No door. Clever. –Dr. Strange

Mystic beings do not bargain. –O’Bengh

A man does not suffer like this for his own glory. –O’Bengh

There is a fine line between love and delusion. –O’Bengh

I draw the line at bugs. –Dr. Strange

He’s on the wrong path. –The Watcher

Even in our world, death is part of the plan. –O’Bengh

Let’s be honest, we’ve been through weirder. –Dr. Strange

The question is…WHEN are you? –Dr. Strange

I’ve gone too far to turn back now. –Dr. Strange

The world shouldn’t pay for my arrogance. –Dr. Strange

One life, one choice, one moment, can destroy the entire universe. –The Watcher

S1 E5 What If… Zombies? Best Quotes

Dr. Bruce Banner? The human hiding within the Hulk, fell from the stars to warn humanity of imminent danger. But the world he found was not one he recognized. –The Watcher

Hello? Anyone got any clothes? –Dr. Bruce Banner

Come on big guy. Time to go green. –Dr. Bruce Banner

That sort of seems like overkill. –Dr. Bruce Banner

With the giant ants? Who are you? –Dr. Bruce Banner

Relax, just your friendly neighborhood Spider-man. –Spider-man

What the hell happened to the neighborhood? –Dr. Bruce Banner

Like too many great catastrophes. This one sprang from a place of love. –The Watcher

New York. Home of the Mets, the Chrysler Building, those ladies from Sex and the City, and now, the zombie apocalypse! If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. But first, you have to not get eaten. –Spider-man

Step one: long sleeves. Zombie virus is passed through saliva. So the less skin you’re showing, the less there is to bite. –Spider-man

Step two, hygiene. Zombies are attracted to the smell of human flesh. So the less pheromones you give off, the better. You’re never more vulnerable than in your birthday suit. –Spider-man

The sneak attack! Your robot arm is waterproof. How handy. Pun intended. –Kurt
You know all I have to do is squeeze right? –Bucky
Okay. Okay, easy killer. How about we skip the shower and grab the body spray? –Spider-man

Okay, step three. Always aim for the head. It’s the only way to kill ’em. Oh, I was just showing Dr. Banner the orientation video. –Spider-man

Awesome! Global crisis solved. High-fives all around, guys. –Spider-man

Well just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, we got to go to Jersey. –Happy Hogan

Zombie-freakin’-apocalypse, and somehow, I’m still driving. –Happy Hogan
What is the problem? I thought you were an Uber driver? –Okoye
No. I’m a personal chauffeur there’s a difference. –Happy Hogan
All right everybody, it’s Grand Central. –Happy Hogan

Hope, Banner, Parker, track 7. See if you can hot-wire the train. –Okoye
Sounds like job for criminal. I will help. –Kurt

Um, splitting up? Do you guys just not have horror movies in Wakanda? –Spider-man
We don’t need them. We have American reality shows. –Okoye
Boom, boom goes the dynamite. That was solid burn. –Kurt

Perhaps summon your green demon? –Kurt
No, he’s on sabbatical. Any other ideas? –Bruce

Were you saying “Blam?” –Sharon Carter
Was I?. –Happy Hogan

That was your friend. Sorry about that. –Okoye
I should be sad, but I’m not. –Bucky

I’m sorry. We should have stayed together. –Okoye

I think you’ve had enough Cap. –Bucky

Sorry, pal, guess this is the end of the line. –Bucky

Um, guys? I’m covered in Sharon. –Hope
The kid has hand sanitizer. –Okoye

It’s not risk, it’s hope. And anyone who’s seen a zombie movie knows that that’s the key to survival. –Spider-man

But my aunt Mae says…that if you don’t keep smiling, then you might as well just be gone too. –Spider-man

Oh, Vision! You’re a Vision. You have no idea how good it is to see a familiar not-one-of-those-gross-half-eaten-faces. –Bruce
One of the benefits of being an android. I’m not on the menu. –Vision
Oh, that’s it! That’s how you’ve been able to keep the zombies at bay. –Bruce

I know what you’re thinking. I’ve lost weight. Thank you for noticing. But don’t worry, I’m not gonna let it go to my head. Sorry. I tend to process traumatic events with dad jokes drives him crazy. Drives Hank crazy. –Scott Lang

Vision grabbed me in San Francisco thought he was saving me. He was just picking up takeout. –T’Challa
And keeping him alive to feed his zombie bride. –Bucky

Love, sucks. –Scott Lang

Hey, watch out! She’s a man-eater. Oh. I’m doing it again. –Scott Lang

Wingardium leviosa! –Scott Lang

No! Don’t jinx it! Doesn’t anyone here watch horror movies? –Spider-man

I’m sorry, she gave her life so we could find a cure. –Spider-man
That’s twice she saved me. That’s very…Hope. –Scott Lang

In my culture, death is not the end. They are still with us, as long as we do not forget them. –T’Challa
Plus they’re not all gone. Me. You still have me. –Scott Lang

Good, the world could use a little heart right now. –T’Challa

And once we get this to Wakanda, we’re gonna save the world. –Spider-man

Even the darkest times, humans will give all to save their planet. –The Watcher

 

S1 E6 What If… Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark? Best Quotes

Take a picture with you? Yes. Very cool. Please. No gang signs. No, throw it up. I’m kidding. Yeah. Peace and love peace. I’d be out of a job with peace. –Tony Stark

That was a spectacular entrance, seriously. –Tony Stark
The Ten Rings have reinforcements en route. We need to move now. –Killmonger
Fine by me, Lt. Killmonger. What is that? German? –Tony Stark
A nickname. –Killmonger
That’s clearly a good fit. I see where they got it. What’s your afternoon like? –Tony Stark

Heroes are not born, they are forged in darkness. Shaped in battle. Defined by sacrifice. –The Watcher

No, but I did spill my drink. And it was a ’26 Macallan, so I’m pretty sure that’s a war crime. –Tony Stark

Excuse me, sir. Did you learn anything from your time in Afghanistan? –Reporter
I did. Never travel anywhere that doesn’t have a Four Seasons. –Tony Stark

I brought receipts, wire transfers, bank documents, phone records. Google it. I just dropped them all online. –Killmonger

So, Colonel Rhodes, what can you tell me about our knight in shining camouflage? –Pepper Potts
Graduated Annapolis at 19. MIT a year later. Made quite a name for himself since joining the SEALS as part of an elite squad that specializes in high-target wetwork. –Rhodes
Please tell me that’s plumbing. –Pepper
Assassinations. –Rhodes
Jeez. Glad I asked for clarification. –Pepper
All in all, I’d say he’s done pretty good for a kid from Oakland. I mean, what’s your concern, Pepper? Other than the killing part. –Rhodes

Easy, killer. I come in peace. –Tony Stark
What did your old man use to say? “Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy.” –Killmonger

Let’s do this. Let’s build your science fair project. –Tony Stark

Wow, bold design choice. –Tony Stark
What? I like anime. –Killmonger
Worst-case scenario, we’ll end up with the world’s most expensive Gundam model. –Tony Stark

It’s only a failure if it explodes. Okay, that changes things. –Tony Stark

Tony, in case you forgot Stark Industries, is not in the business of fraternizing with black-market arms dealers. –Pepper

Can’t clean up the world without getting your hands dirty. –Rhodes
Oh! That is good. You should stitch that on a pillow. –Ulysses Klaue

 

S1 E7 What If… Thor Were an Only Child? Best Quotes

He only cares about duty and responsibility. Well I’m not going to be like the boring King. –Thor

It’s magic, Huzzah! –Thor

You’re Thor? Thor the Norse God of Thunder? –Jane Foster
I don’t know anything about Norse gods but I do know how to bring the thunder. –Thor

Oh, what’s that lightbox thing you have there? –Thor
You must be a genius. –Thor
Do all geniuses have such deep, dark eyes? It’s like watching the birth of two stars at the edge of the galaxy. –Thor

Half Price nachos? Okay flying duck, but this is not a date. –Darcy

Blow on these, mama needs a brand new eye –Nebula

Do you want to know why I am the Acting Director, Dr. Foster? –Agent Maria Hill
Hey, Spicoli, this maybe your party but it’s not your planet. –Fury

The party atmosphere seems to be spreading. –Coulson

He left did he did he even leave a note? I mean, did. Did he say where he was going? Pigs. –Jane

Smooth. –Darcy
“Diplomatic relations?” Is that what the kids are calling it? –Darcy
A beeper? My dad has one. –Darcy

Tell me, Fandrall is that butt-ugly popsicle stick talking to me? –Thor
I can’t believe you came Loki You are the absolute best. You’re my brother from another mother man. I mean that I mean, brothers forever. –Thor
Forever. –Loki

I only boom in private. –Thor

I couldn’t possibly tell you, it will ruin the magic. –Loki

Hey Whitesnake, we need to chat. –Captain Marvel
How about you just buzz off? –Thor
I wasn’t asking. –Captain Marvel

I wouldn’t miss this for the world. –Loki

Hammerang, get it? –Thor

Know what you need? –Thor
A stiff drink and two weeks in Hawaii. –Captain Marvel
a time out. –Thor

Fury said that you were the best. That your punch was equal to 10 nuclear bombs. That your cat could devour whole armies. –Agent Hill
You’ve got a cat? What’s its name? –Darcy
Goose. –Captain Marvel
Oooh, Top Gun. You’re Maverick! Is your eho writing ready checks that your skills can’t cash? –Darcy
Who are you? –Captain Marvel
Darcy. Big fan. By the way, totally thought you were going to be a dude captain, but look at you, all not. –Darcy
I exert my full powers, I blow a crater in this planet. Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak won’t be worth the fatalities. –Captain Marvel
Ooh. what about South Dakota? Or North Dakota? –Darcy
So do you need an intern? Cat Wrangler?–Darcy
Darcy, right now you’re running on an 8 and I need you to take it down to a 4. Okay. –Captain Marvel

Hello? –Jane
JANE! When can I see you again? You know the nicest prettiest mid-Guardian woman I’ve ever met. –Thor
How many Earth women have you met? –Jane
Uh, two, but the other one hit me with a bridge, and, well, that hurt more than my face. –Thor
Thor, be honest with me. At your last party on Alpha Star, did you really destroy that planet? –Jane
No, no, it was more of a meteor anyway, not a planet. And it was burning apart, so we just kinda helped it along and… –Thor
So no one got hurt? –Jane
No, even the baby goat Gary got home safely. Eventually. –Thor
I gotta go love you. I mean, bye… –Jane

Look, all I’m saying is no one would notice if you blew up a Dakota. Honestly, I can’t tell them apart. –Darcy
South Dakota is on the bottom.–Captain Marvel
It’s not a bad idea, actually. The Mojave Desert could withstand the hit. –Hill
Lure him to Siberia and then go kaboom on his ass.–Captain Marvel
You’re not serious. We’re not going to kaboom him. –Jane
We’re talking about the fate of the planet. –Hill
He’s a lughead, sure, and far from the brightest crayon in the box. But this plan is way over the top, and I refuse to let it happen. –Jane
Thank you for your expertise, Dr. Foster, but your assistance is no longer required.–Hill

Damn! There goes my internship with the Galactic Queen Bee.–Darcy

Look who came waddling back, Mrs. The Duck. –Howard the Duck

Wait, is this the girl? Thor’s new sweet lady?–Loki

Late-night Chinese is the best. I love food. Loki, get your blue butt over here, you to try these dumplings. –Thor

Hey Earth girl. You haven’t got a friend, have you? You know, we could double date? –Loki
Ugh, will you just put him on the phone?–Jane
Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist he’s right here.–Loki

Too bad we can’t call his mom. That’s what always happens. Teenagers throw a party, it gets out of control.–Darcy

Uh, he-man-who-now?–Darcy

Everyone! Watch me slide down that pointy thing! –Thor

Would the owner of the navy blue Prius…–Darcy

Arm the nukes. –Hill
But I thought she was the nuke. –Coulson
Just in case she gets distracted by a cat. –Hill

Why do you insist on crushing my mellow? –Thor

Mother?! What are you doing here? You must be using a lot of Dark Magic just to check in on me. –Thor
Do not tell falsehoods to your mother. –Frigga

S1 E8 What If… A Very Ultron Apocalypse? Best Quotes

I feel like you should know me by now. –Clint

The end of the world began with one man’s dream. He saw a world of peace. With the Mind Stone, Tony Stark created Ultron. The elimination of all life. From puppet to puppet master, Ultron required one thing. An organic body to call his own, one that fused the powers of man, machine, and mind into one. In your universe, the Avengers stole the Cradle and used it to create the hero, Vision. But in this universe, Ultron got his wish. With the infinite power of the Mind Stone, Ultron began to lay waste to the planet. –Watcher

You cannot compute the power of my will. I’m the Watcher! –Watcher

I swore an oath I cannot exert my will the natural order of things I cannot intervene. –Watcher

Are you ready to break your oath? –Watcher
You want me to say it? –Doctor Strange
Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I want to hear you say it. –Watcher
Okay… I can’t believe I’m about to say this… I see now. I need your help. –Doctor Strange

S1 E9 What If… The Watcher Broke His Oath? Best Quotes

Captain Carter, the soldier lost in time, you have been chosen. –Watcher
Star-Lord T’Challa, leader of the Ravagers and lost Prince of Wakanda, you have been chosen. –Watcher
Erik Stevens, Killmonger, Tony Stark’s former protégé and killer, you have been chosen. –Watcher
You’re ready. It’s showtime, my friends. Good luck. –Watcher
That’s it, isn’t it? All creatures searching for a place to belong. To call home. As for me, I am the Watcher. The Multiverse, every single world, every single story is my home, and I will protect it to the end. –Watcher

Where… Where are we? –Black Widow
On a world that lost their Widow. –Watcher
It’s a mess. Thank you. –Black Widow

 

 

About Marvel’s “What If…?”

“What If…?” flips the script on the MCU, reimagining famous events from the films in unexpected ways. Marvel Studios’ first animated series focuses on different heroes from the MCU, featuring a voice cast that includes a host of stars who reprise their roles. Directed by Bryan Andrews with AC Bradley as head writer, “What If…?” is streaming exclusively on Disney+.

Read our Marvel’s “What If…?” Review